I've learned this lesson over and over, and then thought I had it- only to have to go back and learn it again.
and I get it, because I've been victim of it.
Thinking the only worth we have is where people can see it. I've instagramed my clean kitchen, I've posted happy news over real life, I've uploaded smiling images of my kids in clean clothes.
Why? Because I wanted you to see my insta-life. My life that was picture worthy. My status updates that were my best. I wanted acceptance.
This past year, I've really been on a journey and more lately, because I'm giving up what is the hardest thing- approval. It is not an over night thing. It's a daily thing. It's a Jesus thing. To finally see that when I clean my kitchen, I don't need an audience to see it.
God already does.
This post is really simple, and really point blank. You matter, and it's not to people. Man doesn't compare to the One who sees you- at your darkest and without those filters. Even when we don't clean our kitchens. Even on our worst days.
I talked to a family member and from there we realized how much, daily we look at our news feeds and see other people's insta life too- and we believe its reality.
That's dangerous. Really really scary. It's then we compare, we belittle, we cut ourselves down because we don't measure up. Then we go into our lives that aren't picture ready and we don't live- we just exist. I've been there, and I've done it- day after day. And I see other people doing it too.
I'm being real today. and from here on out. Here are some very truths about me- my kids fight like crazy, I never get to put on make up and very rarely get a break because my husband works as a truck driver and I am most of the time a single parent- which is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The only reason I can make it everyday is because of Jesus and grace, and new mercies, forgiveness.
Where we matter? In our day to day real life. Where only Jesus sees. Where only Jesus can peek in the window of our hearts and see what we are dealing with. Our worth does not come from the internet, from people, from pictures.-- and I'm saying this as a die hard instagrammer.
It's the hardest work going from a distracted person to an intentional one. Some days I can't even believe I am doing it, and some days I fail. But I am ready for the next chapter in my life- and I am praying for yours.
When you show up for life, that's exactly where Jesus wants you.